I hate it when I have work to do. I'd much rather have fun, which I don't consider work to be (that's why they call it work, right?). But we also know it is very good for us, particularly when we define the work ourselves for ourselves. Well, that's where I'm going right now. It's good for you, like a vitamin pill or exercise.
I've been talking about Discernment for a few weeks now. I stress how very important it is, but the written word here can't really impress on you how crucial it is to your understanding how you are using the Law of Attraction right now (randomly and reactively) and how you should use the law (creatively and consciously). So I have an exercise for you to do. Total active time around 20 to 30 minutes. Can you spare that alone somewhere? Over coffee some morning or beer in the evening? Consider the drink or food to be the reward for the effort. Here is what you do:
#1: Set a timer for at least 10 minutes. 15 or 20 would be better. Take a full 8 1/2 x 11 pad of paper and start writing down your stream-of-consciousness thoughts. Most likely, the first sentence you write will be something like this: "What the hell am I doing this for I don't know what to write down or what to think and I've got to keep this shit up for another 9 1/2 minutes?" Well, you see where I'm going. Don't censor anything! If your mind goes to how much your butt itches, then put it down. No one other than you are ever going to read this anyway, and ultimately you'll be throwing it away, so say anything. Don't sweat punctuation or spelling - just get the thoughts down as they come, regardless.
#2: Get three markers: a yellow highlighter, another highlight color like pink or blue, and a black. Now, re-read what you have written and for each thought, judge for yourself what style each was. For happy or positive thoughts highlight them with yellow. For thoughts that are pissy or annoyed or in any way negative (I would put the above quote in this category), hit them with the black marker. Anything you really can't put into either category, use the third color. You need to be honest here. If you are trying to judge a particular thought and can't decide if it is negative or not, think what your life would be like if that were the only thing you ever said.
#3: Step back and look at your colors. If you are "normal", meaning like most people, I'll bet at least 75% of your page is blackened out and you wish you had used a paint brush rather than a marker. The more yellow you have and the less black, horray for you, all the better. Do you see? Do you see where your mind goes? And since your thoughts, and particularly your emotion behind the thoughts, create what the Universe brings in front of your face, do you see why you are getting what you are getting? It's going to match. I know for sure that it is going to match. If it is not, then you are not being honest with yourself somehow, which actually magnifies the situation.
#4: Love the result and love yourself for the result you found. Love the pages full of black. You have done that!! You have experienced that and you have put the black down on paper. Otherwise you would never be in the place you are now to recognize the black and to say to yourself, "Now, I know what I didn't know. And I choose yellow-highlighter-thoughts".
I warned you. It's work. But boy is it necessary work. You can't figure out where you want to go if you don't know where you are. And you are the only one who can do this. And don't forget #4, to love your black results and to love yourself. I do.
The Old Monk